What would you do

what would you do
if i told you i loved you
i told you that ever decision i make
is made for you
if every breath i take, is also a breath for you
if every prayer i pray, i pray for you
if every tear i cried, was of my longing towards you
if every smile i smile, is from the rememberance of you
if my one and only weakness is the hug i embrace when i see you
what would you do if i said i want you
that every dream i dream, is about you
if every kiss i have with another person
is nothing compared to the kiss i'd feel if i were to kiss you

what would you do
if i died out of the blue
if i just fell to the floor
infront of your eyes
and your last memory of me
was the last breath i took
before i layed down and died
and you never got to say goodbye

Dubiety

mango scented lotion

vanilla conditioner 

aloe vera lip balm

ruby red nail polish

fitted black dress

red high heels

black eyeliner

and a beautiful smile

i remember this day so well

it was the day i met you

the day when all my pain 

seemed to have vanished

when i was in your presence

the day i promised to never 

forget you

your caramel colored skin 

complimented by your long kinky hair

all i could think of was your eyes

those eyes.

i could get lost in them for days 

in a midnight summer's haze

i could wake up in the morning 

and feel worthless 

and just look in your eyes and 

from that moment forth 

know i have a purpose

you were my life

but i was not yours

you had other options 

and i was one of many 

you hurt me so bad 

i promised to never love again

but somehow i couldn't forget you

the first time i said I loved you 

the first time we made love

the first time our lips were introduced to each other

all the memories we've share

our relationship was much more than an option 

it was real

and i refuse to move on 

believing you don't think about me every waking day.

so every single night,

i will write one memory of you 

to keep it clear in sight

i still need you. 

Got Some

got some unsaid words
i wish to say to you
some untold thoughts
thoughts i had of you
some pictures in my notebook
some poetry for you
some quotes of love
created from the simplest memory of you

got some prevented love
i have towards you
the smile i'd have if i were to kiss you
the sensational feeling i'd have inside myself
from the faintest touch the linger
when you brush yourbody
against me

The Spoon by Richard Jones

Some days I think I need nothing
more in life than a spoon.
With a spoon I can eat oatmeal
Or take the medicine doctors prescribe
I can swat a fly sleeping on the sill
or pound the table to get attention.
I can point accusingly at God
or stab the empty air repeatedly.
Looking into the spoonís mirror,
I can study my face in its shiny bowl,
or cover one eye to make half the world
disappear.  With a spoon
I can dig a tunnel to freedom
spoonful by spoonful of dirt,
or waste life catching moonlight
and flinging it into the blackest night.

Brief Writing

The vague smell of cookie dough overwhelms me, I urgently get out of bed and go down the stairs to see what's been prepared, last night was dark and full of regrets, but i'll never tell anyone about it, i'll never mention it to myself, i'll keep a smile on my face, i won't let anyone see these scars on my body, all the pain i've brought upon myself, once i reach the end of the steps i realize my arms aren't covered and run up the stairs to go get my cream colored wool sweater, it's hard to keep a secret when it's written all over your body, Once i finally get to the kitchen I greet Nadija "Morning beautiful" Nadija smiles, I love her smile, it's so alluring, "Morning babe, I made some chocolate chip cookies, you want one?" she asks me, without a reply i stretch my arm forward to collect a cookie, little did i know, i had left the fresh cut from yesterday bare on my palm, "What happened" said Nadija, "Oh, this pffh i was holding a wine bottle at the party and it fell and the glass cut my palm" Nadija nodded, I don't know how long i can keep this up, lying to her, i should tell her i thought, but twice as fast i knew what her reaction would be "i can help you" but no one really can,

He doesn't understand, I know what he's going through, and I don't want to help him, I'm just going to watch him, because i too am going through something similar, after we had finished our breakfast i went to the bathroom, i can't be fat, i don't want to be fat, and then it just happened, it always happens i mean, it's nothing new, Derek doesn't know about it, but it happens, i can't risk the pain of hearing my flaws through another person's mouth, and maybe Derek's love for me, Derek words, the words he says to me "Morning Beautiful" will be enough to make me stop, and just think, i'm beautifully and wonderfully made.

Imogen Poots

I saw an article on her on Teen Vogue, so i wrote down her name on a piece of paper, that was months ago, but now I've googled her, I think she is just so beautiful.

So, its 2 AM and i can't sleep.. nothing new.
I wish I had a cuddle buddy